Posts tagged ‘sadness’

October 14, 2011

Bi-Polar Disease

I am not a person of complete understanding of this particular disease, but I do know that my sister Salana has it. This post is more about my on again/ off again relationship with her.

I love my sister, as I always have and with that has come lots of pain and sadness. You see, I believe she has Bi-Polar disease. I know for sure that she takes medication for it, I think it’s Zoloft which is some form of an upper when she gets down or is down. I don’t really understand it completely again, but I’m sure looking it up on webMD would give me plenty of information in a matter of minutes on it.

The sad part is how much she has hurt me in the past few years. It’s been very hard to deal with personally because I never wanted our relationship to be tenuous and strained. I really can’t put a particular finger on when/where it all started, but what I do know is more of recent events. In particular, my wedding. She and her husband were invited to the wedding, but she wasn’t an active participant of the ceremony therefore she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. Well her feelings were hurt I presume, when after she asked me if she could come I explained that she couldn’t, but could spend time afterwards at the house with the family if she wanted. Now she wasn’t the only family excluded, others were as well, but that doesn’t matter to her, because it’s all about her, even though it’s MY WEDDING!

Then she comes to the wedding and sits in the furthest back pews away from the family and not in the first 3 rows that were reserved for family. Then she was about to leave after the ceremony and we had to practically drag her out of the foyer before she left, to bring her in to take pictures with “THE FAMILY”, which obviously she didn’t want to be a part of I guess. Then at the rehearsal dinner, and even after the pictures were taken, not her or her husband Chris, EVER said one word to Heather or myself. Never a Congrats or I’m so happy or anything. ON top of that, she left the reception dinner right after the dinner was served and again never said a word to Heather nor I, just left…

My Birthday was last monday the 10th and I didn’t even get a text or phone call from her either. What kind of person/sister is that, to treat family this way?

This is just a small part of how she has acted towards me and Heather(MY WIFE) for at least the last 3+ years and mostly just me.

I have tried to reach out to her and be supportive and in turn expect the same back from her and her husband, but it’s the same ‘ole with them.

So that’s my turbulent situation with my sister like I said and it’s been that way for TOO LONG. Sad, but true. I partially blame the disease, but I also blame her for allowing herself to give in to being ugly towards me and others as well.

I pray that it would improve one day, but until then, sometimes not saying anything at all is just as well too.