Posts tagged ‘relationships’

July 24, 2013


Imparting wisdom is not that easy. Especially when it comes to young people. What I have learned though is that those who seek it will find it.

As you grow older you take notes of things that have worked and haven’t worked. Like wasting time with sales people in person or on the phone(Don’t do it). But, more importantly is God and your relationship with Jesus. This relationship will be your most important relationship of your entire life, bet!!

So to impart the most important wisdom is to share about my life experiences walking with God with you. Memorizing scripture is one of the first ways in which you can begin to grow in your walk with God. Building close relationships with other Christians is also important. You need those around you to keep you accountable and hold you to a higher standard. Reading scripture is second to none as well. You need to know what God says about topics you will face in your time here on earth and how Jesus responded to those situations as well. Having a healthy Church home(close to where you live) is also needed.

As I’m writing this I am thinking of many scriptures that come to mind to justify my imparted wisdom to you. Don’t give up the assembling of yourselves together(Hebrews 10:25) – As iron sharpens iron, so does one brother sharpen another(Proverbs 27:17). These are scriptures I know by heart.

The opposite of these is true as well. Pray for those you want to evangelise and spend quality time with them and build a rapport. Help them to know that you care and when they realize that, they will realize that your God is real and loves them too!

Stay away from those who are rebellious and spew hatred, racism and evil deeds. They will do nothing but cause you harm now and possibly forever. Pray for them, but keep those people out of your circle of friends.

Trust…that everyone in your life will disappoint you! The quicker you come to this realization, the better off you will be. Then realize that God will never leave nor forsake you. He loves you and always wants the best for you, even if you think that it is not the best in that moment. That HE should be your trust and he will take care of you.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Knowledge,
but Fools despise wisdom and instruction – Proverbs 1:7

July 11, 2013

If it feels good…

This term or adage “If it feels good” or “To each his own” is NOT OK in my book. Let’s break it down as to what we are really saying when we use those terms. The looseness of how we use these terms is rampant as well, which should give pause to all of us.

So, to go to extremes here, for example, If it feels good to like underage boys and/or girls, then hey To each his own? Really? Isn’t that pedophilia? Or I like to snort cocaine, so To each his own? Really? Or they curse too much or killing people or degrading another race. All that is OK, because when you say those terms, that is really what you are condoning. You are condoning anything that is different and not necessarily what you would do, but it’s still OK in your book, because hey, It feels good to them, so it must be right. I think not!

We are saying that we don’t really care what others say or do or how they act when we say those terms essentially. Until, it treads on you or intrudes on your way of life, then it may become a problem or issue for you. Then you no longer agree with that term, because it is against what you think or believe or affects you.

We all have experiences and ideas and bias to rely upon for decisions that we make and the choices. Just because you think the choice your making is Ok or feels good doesn’t mean that it’s right. There is a natural order of law and there is also man’s law, with penalties for poor choices that we as humans can and do make.

I don’t use or say those terms, because I think there is a better way. A higher way. I believe this and I understand it may be different from what you believe, but I’m not saying to each his own. I’m saying that there is a God who loves you and wants something better for you. That the chains of sin and burden can be broken in your life. That your thoughts on what is OK, may not be OK. There is cause and effect. You smoke cigarettes for years and years and your chances of dying from lung cancer are pretty high. You murder someone because your mad at them for something they said to you, you’re going to jail. You have an adulteress relationship and your chances of getting a disease are pretty high(not to mention the fact tha you can die from AIDS) among other things.

Does the effects to the cause give you pause? Yes, but we do them anyway don’t we? Yeah, its human nature, but regardless it’s a sin and enslaves us to bondage. It makes us a slave to sin. Jesus said love your neighbor and love God. If you follow these 2 commands, that all things in life will fall in line for the good. Apply these 2 commands to any situation you can think of and you will find that it fits and would help you choose a better way.

I say, love. I say, I understand you do these things and I don’t agree with them and I will pray for you. I won’t say, To each his own or If it feels good do it, I will say, I hope you see there is a better way, but understand that you may not choose this way and I love you anyway, with a Christlike love.

I think you would be naive to think there isn’t a judgement when we die and a God who says I love you, please know that there is a better way. This whole – if it feels good junk – is a joke and even if you think you can rationalize it(like most of us easily can do), again, doesn’t mean that it’s OK.

I say, there is a better way and boy does it feel good!

October 14, 2011

Bi-Polar Disease

I am not a person of complete understanding of this particular disease, but I do know that my sister Salana has it. This post is more about my on again/ off again relationship with her.

I love my sister, as I always have and with that has come lots of pain and sadness. You see, I believe she has Bi-Polar disease. I know for sure that she takes medication for it, I think it’s Zoloft which is some form of an upper when she gets down or is down. I don’t really understand it completely again, but I’m sure looking it up on webMD would give me plenty of information in a matter of minutes on it.

The sad part is how much she has hurt me in the past few years. It’s been very hard to deal with personally because I never wanted our relationship to be tenuous and strained. I really can’t put a particular finger on when/where it all started, but what I do know is more of recent events. In particular, my wedding. She and her husband were invited to the wedding, but she wasn’t an active participant of the ceremony therefore she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. Well her feelings were hurt I presume, when after she asked me if she could come I explained that she couldn’t, but could spend time afterwards at the house with the family if she wanted. Now she wasn’t the only family excluded, others were as well, but that doesn’t matter to her, because it’s all about her, even though it’s MY WEDDING!

Then she comes to the wedding and sits in the furthest back pews away from the family and not in the first 3 rows that were reserved for family. Then she was about to leave after the ceremony and we had to practically drag her out of the foyer before she left, to bring her in to take pictures with “THE FAMILY”, which obviously she didn’t want to be a part of I guess. Then at the rehearsal dinner, and even after the pictures were taken, not her or her husband Chris, EVER said one word to Heather or myself. Never a Congrats or I’m so happy or anything. ON top of that, she left the reception dinner right after the dinner was served and again never said a word to Heather nor I, just left…

My Birthday was last monday the 10th and I didn’t even get a text or phone call from her either. What kind of person/sister is that, to treat family this way?

This is just a small part of how she has acted towards me and Heather(MY WIFE) for at least the last 3+ years and mostly just me.

I have tried to reach out to her and be supportive and in turn expect the same back from her and her husband, but it’s the same ‘ole with them.

So that’s my turbulent situation with my sister like I said and it’s been that way for TOO LONG. Sad, but true. I partially blame the disease, but I also blame her for allowing herself to give in to being ugly towards me and others as well.

I pray that it would improve one day, but until then, sometimes not saying anything at all is just as well too.

March 24, 2011

Eat, Pray, Love

I watched this movie for the first time last time with my Fiancé Heather. I really did enjoy it. The turnoff was that a lot of my friends said the movie was bad. I think they took it in the light and eyes of a Christian. So, I was hesitant to watch it, but in actuality I watched it without the eyes of a Christian and just took it for the movie that it was and how it presented itself.

Granted, God hates divorce, but the it happened in the movie. Fine. She nor he were Christians!!! Who ever said they were…

Moving on, I loved that she went and traveled for a whole year. I have been to Italy and love that country! I have never been to India nor Bali, but I might like to take a trip to Bali someday.

I think she didn’t make right decisions in jumping into bed with several men, but the point of the year long trip was to find herself, in my opinion and not to rely on someone else(a man in this case) to help her understand who she was as a person.

My favorite part of the movie was when she learned to forgive and release the past. The part when she’s in India and she dances with her ex-husband and he says he loves her and she says I loved you too, but doesn’t respond when he says he still does. They are dancing together like it was their first dance on their wedding day. He’s in his tux and she’s in an Indian garb. She says to him, “when you think of me, think kind things and love and wish them my way to me” or something close to that.

For over 2 years now I have been out of my first marriage. As hard as it was to leave and make that cut, that break, it was hard nonetheless.

I haven’t been happy how the divorce went down and the bad feelings I felt towards her because of the things she did(without going into detail) and have not been kind in many of my conversations about her with folks.

I guess I felt some ill-will towards her, BUT the ‘A-ha’ moment came through that movie last night.  When she was dancing with him(her ex) and she said think good things of me and send them my way. I felt some huge weight and corner lift and turn for me. I feel relieved. I want to wish those things for her, but was having a hard time letting go…still…as pathetic as that sounds. After last night’s movie, I am going to do just that from now on. Wish her good things in her life and wish goodness, happiness and love for her and stop the ill-will.

Sometimes, God works through the craziest of things, but for me, I love movies and He can work into my heart through them.

I feel that the more time that you seperate yourself from things in your life that have happened, the more clarity you get on those things. Such as my divorce. That’s why they say to wait for a long time before you get back into a relationship after a divorce, because you need time to reflect, to heal, to cry and cry again. And to ultimatley let go of that ill-will and pain and wish good things for that person you did once love.

I pray that for those of you who have been divorced can somehow relate to what I’m saying and even watch this movie with an open mind and somehow find healing in it like I did.

Many Blessings!

February 9, 2011

Love Language

My Fiance and I are studying the book 5 Love Languages.  It’s a really great book! The synopsis is this: Every one of us has a love language and we communicate that language everyday to everyone around us. This book will help you understand what you are communicating and what you’re saying.

This book is great for everyone, not just couples about to be married, but even married couples that have been together for years or even those of you who aren’t in relationships, but want to understand who you are as a person better.

There is a test you can find here:

The test above will ask you a few simple questions. Answer them as honestly as you can and then the results will be calculated and the answers will give you insight into who you are and what your love language is. It’s not good enough just to take the test though, I suggest you read the book as well. It’s an easy and quick read.

Many Blessings to you and yours!

February 8, 2011


You know growing up we were babied and loved by our parents and family. We needed our family to support us because we couldn’t fend for ourselves. Every aspect of our lives was governed by what our family provided for us. So we relied on our family to provide for us and we were one minded, thinking only about ourselves and what we will get next, etc.(especially around our birthdays and holidays)

We then come of age to get a job or continue our education and begin to support and take care of ourselves. We are still selfish and thinking with a one tracked mind. The longer we move into our 20’s and even 30’s and have never been married or had children, the harder it becomes to understand what it is not to be selfish, because again, we are only concerned with our own needs.

There is a point then when we reach an area of giving back and not allowing ourselves to be all caught up in what we are doing, who we are with or what our next meal we are going to consume is. I must say that there ‘should be’ this point in everyone’s life, although I know it’s not always true.

The point I am trying to make here is that this life is not all about you and the proverbial “ME, ME, ME!” chant.  It’s about opening your hand to share, It’s about not hoarding, it’s about giving of your time to great causes, it’s about giving of yourself to others without expectation, it’s about listening when no one else will listen or even speaking up when no one will.

I find that for me, giving back makes all the difference in the world, to that one person’s life, that I know I had an effect on because I decided to give, unselfishly and unexpectedly.

Relationships, in the dating/married aspect, helps you better understand what it’s like to realize the needs of another and not just your own. Pets, in all forms, also help you understand that as well. For those who neglect those relationships, there definitely can be some moments of selfishness that cause that neglect. Choosing to do something you want to do more than choosing or giving thought to what your partner wanted or even caring about it, for example.

I know my dad has had relationship issues all of his life. I know that he has always loved me, but when it came to his partners, there were a lot of selfish times and moments that caused the demise to both of his failed marriages and umpteen relationships since. That’s been his choice, cognizant or otherwise, that he has made those choices. This was just a real life example of the decision to be selfish, in my opinion, that has caused those marriage failures.

My desire for this post is really to get the message out of how important it is to give selflessly and to better understand the scripture below that speaks to us not loving this world. I believe that giving back of ourselves helps make a better world and gives us all a better appreciation for the many blessings that are in our lives and opens our eyes to the world around us and how much need there truly is all around us. Which ultimately, without knowing it, will make you a less selfish person.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God – James 4:4

June 22, 2010


Part Deux of Last Sunday’s sermon.  It was a good one!!

The sermon last Sunday was about the legacy you leave behind as well, for those who read my previous post. 

I had lunch today with a brother in Christ, Mike Green, and we discussed what was our legacy, as I spoke about the sunday sermon.  He replied with such insight, I was blown away and couldn’t help think about this question myself and what I was doing about my legacy.  He said,”It’s living Holy before God and leaving a mark on the people around you.”  Profoundly, I agree with him.

He brought up the point Jesus had made where Mary, Jesus’ mother, and His brothers were outside waiting for Him and Jesus replied,”Who is my mother and my brothers?” from Matthew 12:46-50

So many times people, including myself, have said in the past that it’s our children that are our legacy.  But, children can be rotten and turn away from you and God & then what legacy have you left??  GREAT POINT!!!

George Clooney( who has no wife or kids), was addressed by his father recently and asked, “can you name actors from the 20’s or 30’s?”  Clooney didn’t have an answer immediately.  His father said to him, same thing with you, no one will remember you in 20, 30 or 40 years.  What legacy are you going to leave behind?

Mike and I laughed and he pointed out how, if his great grandma or grandpa was to walk into Jason’s Deli where we were having lunch, he wouldn’t know who they are??!?!?!  I wouldn’t know mine either!

Jesus made our relationship to Him a personal one.  We all will bow before Him and give an account for the lives that we have led on this earth.  Our families will not be there to support us or help us in that time.  Our relationship with Jesus Christ right then is what’s going to matter.  YOU & ME!  OUR RELATIONSHIP!! 

So I ask you, what legacy are you going to leave behind?  I know for me, I’m going to improve my relationships with Jesus first, as well as my friendships and pray that by some means I will have left a good and positive mark on the people around me when I leave this earth.


April 7, 2009

dooms day?

I enjoy reading these and sharing them with y’all!


It’s The End! Never mind.

Go Back to What You were Doing.

Anxiety added to the chill of the winter of 999 AD as the new millennium drew near. Prophecies and superstition led to the widely held belief that the world was going to end on 1/1/1000.  As doomsday approached, the “end-time epidemic” broke out. That is when the usual course of everyday life detours into primal spiritual instincts.  Christian behavior back then is noteworthy.

Men began confessing their sins and infidelities. Churches were overflowing.
People began forgiving debts they were owed. Many inmates were freed from prison, yet some refused to leave desiring to remain and make amends for their crimes before the end. Enemies were reconciled. Stores gave away food, and many businesses refused to accept payment for their merchandise. (One might believe
that there had been a widespread outbreak of Christianity.)

Finally “the dreaded” night arrived. (Jesus was about to return!?!) On December 31st, 999 AD, a standing-room-only crowd gathered for mass in St. Peter’s Basilica, but no one stood, because everyone was on their knees! When the clock struck midnight, there was silence…………….then………….

……..sounds of men and women weeping and laughing in relief. (“We didn’t die!“) Husbands embraced their wives. Friends gave each other the “kiss of peace”.
The clock kept moving. The world didn’t end.

And then…and then…life soon returned to normal. Stores stopped giving away merchandise. Prisoners that had been set free, were hunted down and thrown back in jail. People remembered their debts and demanded re-payment. Reconciled relationships were reconsidered. And the churches emptied.

This “before and after” behavior says something we already know…
Almost everyone acts righteous, when they think they are about to die“. If so, then the normal state of most people is denial & unrighteousness. They are in denial about the fact that they are only a breath away from facing the Lord, and unrighteous because they aren’t doing “what they know is right” on a regular basis.

But acting like you are in right standing with the Lord, (“righteous”) doesn’t make you righteous. Righteousness comes from faith in the work of the Lord Jesus Christ and is shown by obedience to Him. The Christians of 999 did not obey in faith, but from fear. Why were they afraid? Because on some level, they believed judgment awaited them. Otherwise they would have been facing the possible return of the Lord and the end of the world with a sense of divine peace.

(I John 4:17, 18) By this love is perfected in us that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

The 999 AD story is a perfect example of what these two scriptures mean. When we come to know and believe the love the Father has for us, we will have perfect confidence and peace about Judgment Day. We only fear when we believe there is going to be punishment.

It is not the Lord’s will for us to base our relationship with Him on fear, doing what is right only because we fear we will be punished if we don’t. Rather, He desires that we fellowship with Him based on the knowledge of the great love He has for us, and that we do what is right (His will), because we love Him, and because those are the acts of His children, who we are!



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