Posts tagged ‘poem’

August 11, 2014

The Bible summed up by a child

“Judas Asparagus”:

(This is amazing and should bring tears of laughter to your eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching?)

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what was written: The Children’s Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did.
> Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden…..Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
> One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
> God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.
> Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David.. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament.. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had bIeen born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.


February 9, 2011

The Starfish Flinger

I liked this story and thus I’m sharing it with you.

As the old woman walked the beach at dawn, she noticed a young girl ahead of her picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea.  Finally catching up with the girl, she asked her why she was doing this.  The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun.

“But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish,” countered the other. “How can your effort make any difference?”

The young girl looked at the starfish in her hand and then threw it to safety in the waves.

“It makes a difference to this one.” she said

– Author Unknown

January 11, 2010

SIN poem

Sin is ever before me

I constantly fail.

But God is good,

He picks me up.

Try to do good,

but the devil comes knockin’

I try to say NO

but I keep fallin’

What to do what to do?

Pray for guidance

and His help too.

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October 1, 2009


Yea though I walk

He is with me

Yea though I walk

He will never let me down

Yea though I walk

He always loves me

Yea though I walk

He is always good to me

Yea though I walk

March 3, 2009

Only You

Only You Lord are powerful and mighty, Holy, true and beautiful. 

Only You Lord are worthy of all Praise and Glory and Honor.

Only You Lord are worthy of our everything.

Only You Lord are worthy!

June 20, 2008


This poem was shared in my SS class this past weekend.  It sounds real nice at first, but then it hits you like a shock to your heart.  Here it is:

Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

we people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim

And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

“Good morning,” and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich-yes, richer than a king-

And admirably schooled in every grace;

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head

                                        Edwin Arlington Robinson

Have you ever met anyone like Richard Cory?  Have you known a RC?  What would you do or say to RC to make him feel different?  What does RC feel?  Why does he feel this way?

These were a hundred thoughts that went through my head when I first heard this.  I also thought about the tragedy of Heath Ledger and how this poem reminded me of him.  How sad.  How is it that one can possess all the material possessions in the world and yet still feel sad, lonely, lost, without hope and in need at the same time?  How ironic that the very thing we strive for sometimes isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be, huh?


February 12, 2008

Valentine’s day poem

What a beautiful day

Oh valentine’s day

what hope you bring

for the joy you sing

In times like this

I feel a bliss

Let love shine

Forever it will be mine