for my friends ‘n familia


I was advised recently to keep blogging.  At least to keep up daily blog’s is what I think was inferred.  My question to y’all is…do you blog too??  And if so, what is your blog so I can read it as well!

I love to blog anyway and it seems to come natural for me.  I like to think about what I’m going to say or topics or points that I would like to bring up whilst having meaningless conversations with others.  Doh..did I say that out loud?  jk.

Some days seem to be harder than others while going through a divorce.  Some days seem easier too.  Talking with friends and family about my situation helps me tremendously and I thank all of you for that.  I realize that vocalizing my issues better help me cope with them.  Do they for you too?  I am not that kind of person to hold things in forever and then throw up on a person with a million words all at one time.  I’m more like continuous and steady.  I find it as stress relief to talk out loud my issues rather than hold them in, capeche?

It takes 60 days as a mandatory waiting period before you can complete a divorce, at least in the state of Texas.  I know it’s different in other states as well, but it’s 60 here.  Then afterwards you can go forward with formalities as long as both parties are in agreeance.  Little things that you never think of like this after you get married.  Life is wonderful and full of Love and Joy after you get married.  Then the daily grind hits, trust erodes and then you find yourself in a marriage that has died after 10 years.  WOW…how depressing!

Don’t want to bring anyone down with this post, but I have to share my feelings, raw. 

Amazingly, going through this, I have found as I’m sharing my story, that people are dealing with issues and troubles as well.  It’s ironic how, when your going through stuff in life, you feel isolated or that no one else is going through things, but it’s not true.  Everyone is dealing with issues all the time, everyday.   Not just me!  Tony Evans, Pastor in Dallas, said “We are either entering a storm, in the middle of a storm or coming out of a storm in life”  How true that is, isn’t it?  No matter what’s going on in your life you find yourself in 1 of the 3 places that he states.  I am glad that as I’m opening up with folks, that they are opening up with me as well. 

As a Christian, you feel this obligation to live a perfect life.  You feel like if you do something bad or wrong or say something not too P.C., that your going to be looked down or frowned upon and it’s true.  I really feel bad mostly about how I have a failed marriage.  How others perceive that is hard too.  But, through this, I have found loving folks that are being helpful mostly and praying for me, which I’m thankful for.  I do know though, that there will be those that will alienate me because of this, I hope not, but that is life I think and that’s how the cookie crumbles.  That’s human nature and be it as it may, no one is perfect, including me!

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One Comment to “for my friends ‘n familia”

  1. Hi there, I completely, completely understand what you are going thru in the sense of a failed marriage. Although mine didn’t not last as along as yours, but I think I did get out just in time, before my situation got worse. I was a very successful woman working for a huge company and I was moving on up the corporate ladder. Networking and making friend along the way. But slowly my marriage started to fall apart, while I was succeeding in work. Funny as that is said… But my life goals had changed and so did my way of thinking about my marriage.
    I found myself being interested more in work than the usually family gatherings at his side of family, because there was some animosity towards mine. I pretty much got tired of the Sunday morning gathering after Sunday church gathering and going to someone’s house in south Houston for a huge luncheon with a keg of beer awaiting.. And to stay there all afternoon to the late hours of the evening, and the next day was Monday, was kind of taking a toll on me.. And soon after I started to take my car and leaving early is when the family started to talk about me and my regular absence, I really didn’t care, and soon after I completely not going at all.. It was the same routine, sitting in a chair and watch everybody have less that stupid conversations, and no one to relate in my level of IT and Telecommunications. And they were raised the man should know more than the woman, but in this case, it was reversed. I would spend my time at home, cleaning organizing, knitting.. I was doing thing that I wanted to do.. I felt trap in a loveless marriage.
    He was a good man, but he just didn’t see my point of view of being successful, why he was stuck at an endless job, where he worked with his brother and he was not making a great income. I hated being the bread winner, in the house. I thought this was the man’s’ job to do. And I hated that… I slowly talked to a friend that ended being something that I didn’t plan for, that maybe me realize that this marriage was not worth staying for and left the house, for a three month separation that later became a divorce. It was an amicable one. But I have no regrets, as I have other chapters of my life that change who I am and reflect me today. It is good to know that there is someone out there that is kind of going thru or almost the same thing, different circumstance, as I did.
    Keep Blogging!
    Your old Time Friend!
    V

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